Secretly
by Nadeyshico
Summary: Secretly, Hermione is in love with a person she thinks out of reach. Is our favourite know-it-all wrong for the first time in her life?
1. Not love, friendship

**A/N:** Hello! It's me again! Well, this time I decided to go in a different way... Since I've found SS/HG stories I am totally addicted to them and I decided to try and write one on my own. So here it is... I hope you like it! Please read and review and tell if you want more... I'm preparing the next chapter... Lov'u all! ^_^

**Disclaimer:** As you all must know by now, this characters belong to J. K. Rowling and her brilliant mind.

* * *

**_Secretly_**

CHAPTER 1

Hermione sat in the armchair of Gryffindor's common room looking to nowhere and thinking how her social life had changed through the years since she had gone to Hogwarts.

In her first year, when she had first met Harry and Ron, she didn't care about boys to date, she only cared about study, tests, classes, teachers and what she could do to be accepted in that new world she was entering. Besides, she was only 11 years old. Second year was a bit different because then she had the boys to joke around and she even defied the law by brewing that Polyjuice potion just to help his friends solving the mystery of the heir of Slytherin. Third year showed its differences when that simple touch between her and Ron's hands signaled the start of a more sensitive and emotional part of her life; adding to that she had even let herself loose control of her emotions when she started crying in Ron's arms. But of course nothing of this could compare to her burst out of crying when he didn't ask her to the Ball in their fourth year. At the end of that same year she had admitted to herself, and _only herself,_ that she felt more than friendship towards the redhead. That year was one big challenge to all three of them with the Three Wizards Cup and the return of Voldemort, but even more because of all the turmoil their hormones were provoking, leading to the little 'breakup' in the boys friendship and of course her jealousy towards Ron lack of memory.

When they gathered Dumbledore's Army it was a great achievement since it was the first time she had so many people to talk to.

To top all of this, Ron's relationship with Lavender was horrible. '_Urgh!_' she thought. That was the worst. All of that kissing and… hugging and… _'Disgusting!'_ But at the end was her name that he called when he was at the hospital wing! _'Take that, _Lav-Lav_!'_

When at the beginning of the present year Harry finally defeated Voldemort and she had finally let her feelings show, Ron and Hermione decided to give it a try and started dating.

Now, sitting there, five months later, she was thinking how precipitated it was. She really cared about Ron but maybe not the way she previously thought she did. And of course, after only one week of dating he told her that he cared about her but like a sister and not a lover.

_**»»»»»---FLASHBACK---«««««**_

"Look, Hermione, I think it is better if we brake up. I don't want you to get hurt so it is better if we stop this now. The thing is that I love you, but like another sister…" he tried, shyly.

"I think you're right Ron. This was another way of learning that we should first think before we get into something. I like you. I really do. But, like a brother that I've never had."

"I couldn't have put it in better words!" he smiled.

"Of course you don't!" she returned the smile.

"Friends?"

"Of course!" she said as she gave him a bear hug.

_**»»»»»---END OF FLASHBACK---«««««**_

And now here she was, thinking about _him_. No, not Ron. _Him_. Her love.

The truth was that, since her sixth year, Hermione had developed a secret crush on a person that was an impossible mission. That secret crush had grown into a secret love, something she couldn't avoid nor forget or ignore. The problem was that she knew perfectly well that the subject of her affection could not – not even in her wildest dreams – reciprocate her feelings, so she had to just stay with her thoughts until, hopefully, someday she forget about it.

_---*---_

_Passo por ti (I pass through you)  
Tu nem me vês (I don't even see/notice me)  
Só mais um dia... amanhã talvez (Just one more day... Maybe tomorrow)__(Secretly trying to know...)  
Se algum dia os nossos mundos se irão cruzar (If some day our worlds would cross)_

E fico à espera (And I keep expecting)  
De ver em ti (To see in you)  
O sentimento... que trago dentro de mim (The feeling... that I bring inside me)

Mas eu só posso imaginar (But I can only imagine)  
O que podia ser (What could be)  
Se eu te pudesse abraçar (If I could hug you)  
Se eu te pudesse ter (If I could have you)

Secretamente á espera de um gesto, de um sinal (Secretly waiting for a gesture, a signal)  
Secretamente tentando saber se dás por mim, afinal (Secretly trying to know if you notice me, after all)  
Secretamente á procura de um toque, de um olhar (Secretly searching for a touch, a look)  
Secretamente tentando saber... (Secretly trying to know...)  
Se algum dia os nossos mundos se irão cruzar (If some day our worlds would cross)

Qual o caminho (Which path)  
Que irá dar, a esse teu mundo (That will lead, to that, your world)  
Onde eu queria entrar. (Where I would like to enter)  
E tantas vezes, eu já sorri (And so many times, I've smiled)  
Só por lembrar-me (Just from remembering)  
Só por pensar em ti (Just from thinking of you)

E eu só posso imaginar (And I can only imagine)  
O que podia ser (What could be)  
Se eu te pudesse abraçar (If I could hug you)  
Se eu te pudesse ter... (If I could have you)

Secretamente á espera de um gesto, de um sinal (Secretly waiting for a gesture, a signal)  
Secretamente tentando saber se dás por mim, afinal (Secretly trying to know if you notice me, after all)  
Secretamente á procura de um toque, de um olhar (Secretly searching for a touch, a look)  
Secretamente tentando saber...

_---*---_

She quickly fell asleep, her mind rambling through the images and memories she had of him.

*(^_^)*

Hermione was on her way to the greenhouses to have Herbology with her friends and classmates when suddenly she hit a stone wall. _'Wait a minute. There are no walls in the middle of the school grounds.'_ She thought as she realized that the 'wall' was not a wall and was definitely not made of stone. _'This is not a wall you idiot! It must be a student! Duh!'_

"Watch where you're going, you silly girl!" she heard a strong voice from above her head.

'_Oh my! I know this voice… And it means trouble.'_

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**A/N:** About the song... This belongs to Rita Guerra (a portuguese singer) and the music's name is Secretamente (_Secretly_ in English). I tried to translate the lyrics to English the best I could but I am portuguese and I speak Portuguese better than English so forgive me my mistakes. ****


	2. Not want, need

**A/N:** Hey! Here it is chapter two... I decided to publish a little earlier. Maybe this time you decide to review ;P Anyway, thanks for the few (pouting) but good reviewers and I hope you like it so far. Have fun! =)

**Disclaimer: **Once again the characters belong to the brilliant mind of J. K. Rowling.

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_**Secretly **_

**CHAPTER 2**

Previously:

"Watch where you're going, you silly girl!" she heard a strong voice from above her head.

'_Oh my! I know this voice… And it means trouble.'_

Now:

She looked up and her fears were confirmed "I'm sorry, P-Professor Snape." She said, obtaining a strong blush in her cheeks.

"If you paid attention on your path, you wouldn't make me waste my time! Five points from Gryffindor."

She just nodded and lowered her face to the ground again as he walked away with big steps, robes billowing behind him. Hermione finally got to the green house and she found herself shelled with questions from Ron and Harry. "Where were you?", "What happened to you?", "Why are you late?", "Is everything alright?" and so on.

"I'm fine! I just went straight to the bat of the dungeons on my way here. Now can you let me hear what Professor Sprout is saying, please?" she answered a bit annoyed

The boys looked at each other with confused faces but decided to do as she said. She didn't like to call names to Professor Snape like 'bat of the dungeons' or 'greasy git' but she knew it was the best way to keep her friends quiet.

The week flew by with their schedules full of classes and homework. Friday night, Hermione decided it would be best to advance her homework for the weekend then and have those two days to have some rest. On her way to the library, she was once again facing the floor, oblivious to who could pass by her. Without noticing, she was once again hitting a wall… and once again it was not a wall… But this time the coming subject must have been so distracted as she was that the crash took them both to the ground, chest with chest, hip with hip and legs interlaced, her face ending on the person's neck, allowing her to smell the soft scent of herbs and… _'Hmm… this smell…' _she thought. A soft moan escaped her lips and she closed her eyes in pleasure but opened them suddenly as realization hit her _'Oh gosh! Not again!'_ She already knew who the person underneath her hips was. The aroma was unmistakable. She slowly raised her face, only to face a very flushed Professor Snape. _'He's so red! He must be furious! I am so screwed.' _

Her face was mere inches apart from his and she could feel the warm breath on her neck sending shivers down her spine. She was now with one knee to each side of his hips, her bottom right on top of his hips and her hands on his chest.

She was looking straight to those obsidian eyes that were perforating her own, overflowed with… _'Lust? Wait! No… It can't be. Snape can't be… Attracted to me… No…'_ For what seemed like hours she could not stop to stare at those eyes, bewitched… But she had to move… Unfortunately for her…

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Professor!" she started as she lifted herself up, cleaning the dust from her knees and setting her clothes right. "I was so distracted in my own thoughts that I didn't see you coming this way… And after I throw you down I stood on top of you… I'm so sorry, I know that I'm not light and…" she stopped to take a breath and continued "I'm sorry sir, I'm babbling, it won't happen again." She was so red that it looked like she ran the marathon.

He just stood there watching her as she talked. When she finished he just said with that silky voice "Try not to kill yourself on your way back, Miss Granger." And she saw him walk away from her.

'_Merlin! What was that? Did he just tell me to not hurt myself? With that voice… He didn't even take points away from Gryffindor. And those eyes… He let me be on his lap? That body… He let me look in his eyes and looked back and did not hex me nor even punished me?'_ Her mind was going crazy.

Should have it been another person, anyone, she wouldn't have bothered but this was Snape! The greasy bat of the dungeons, the head of Slytherin that everybody hated, the implacable and cruel Potions teacher that every student avoided, former Death eater, a man whom his freedom was taken when he decided to spy under the orders of Albus Dumbledore, the most intelligent man she knew, a man in great shape (she knew it because she had landed on top of those muscles _'Oh, those muscles…'_ ), an exceptional wizard, a Potions Master and… and… the man of her dreams.

Yes, it was true. Hermione had fallen in love with him. She had felt an attraction since her sixth year, but that crush was now the omnipresence on her thoughts, dreams, days, nights, during classes, meals, even study for Merlin's sake! Hermione was total, unconditional and irrevocably in love for Professor Severus Snape.

She knew it was an impossible love. She was nineteen years younger, he was an experienced and powerful man, he had a brilliant mind, she was unattractive to his eyes, she was his student, and most important of all, he hated her and thought she was a big know-it-all _child_. He would never look at her that way. After all she was just a girl for him and he of course would like more mature women.

-(^_^)-

Snape walked to his office and his thoughts were racing two thousand miles an hour. _'Control yourself! She is a student! She has half of your age! And she…_' he tried to find the reason but failed totally when other thoughts came to his mind _'…that delicate face, those intensive eyes, her sweet body, her soft hands on my chest, her hips glued to mine and her legs intertwined with mine… So warm, so soft… So beautiful…'_

Those quick instants with her only served to prove him what he didn't want to admit for almost two years now… He wanted her to himself and no one else. He wanted to be able to talk to her freely, hold her, support her on bad moments, hug her, laugh with her, kiss her, marry her, make love to her, have her children, grow old by her side, die knowing he had had the most beautiful and loveable human being to step on this doomed world.

Who was he trying to delude? He loved her! Some could think it was foolish and precipitated but the truth was that he loved everything in her, her character, her mind, her scent, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her body, even her bushy hair… How he would love to loose himself in those curls, even just once…

But he knew it would be impossible for her to even just feel attracted to him, the more to feel something similar to _love_. The reasons for such were passing through his mind, intercalated with the ones that were the fuel to his daydreaming.

He was nineteen years older than her - _'Was that a moan?_' - he was her teacher, - _'No… It couldn't…_' - she was beautiful and intelligent, he was ugly and antisocial, _'But her eyes…'_ - she certainly liked boys of her age and probably would like to fool around before she could want a real relationship – _'…she kept looking and didn't move…'_ In conclusion, she would never look at him – _'I must be dreaming, she would never want me.'_

-(^_^)-

Two weeks had passed since the incident and they both decided it must have been their minds and feelings praying some kind of prank.

Snape was watching Hermione while she perfectly sliced all ingredients and mixed them correctly to create the potion he had asked the class to brew. He had the attention of not letting show the rest of the class where his eyes were focused on.

Hermione was almost done with the potion when the thoughts of the incident two weeks ago invaded her mind and she had the necessity of looking to the subject of her thoughts. She looked at him and her heart skipped a beat when she found his dark, piercing eyes staring back at her. She didn't want to stop looking and he seemed to want exactly the same. They continued to stare at each other, just like if they were trying to enter the other's mind, in a battle of wills.

While staring at her Potions teacher, Hermione subconscious wanted to continue to brew the potion, so her hand grabbed a random vial and when she and Snape perceived the action, it was too late. She poured two drops of the wrong ingredient and that alone was enough to cause a small explosion. All the room was now covered in a lime green substance, just like its occupants. Snape was quick to realize that the ingredient she added provoked the explosion but it wouldn't have major consequences to the students who were covered in it. Anyway, he had to do something about it.

"What in Merlin's name were you thinking?" he shouted at her, knowing that she would not be able to answer his question.

"I-I-I-I don't know, Sir." She answered with sadness upon her face and looking down to her shoes in shame

"Thirty points from Gryffindor for blowing the potion and you will serve detention with me tonight at 8 pm to clean this mess." He was red in the face. But it was not anger. He was ashamed of punishing her for something he knew was _his_ fault, not hers. But he couldn't just go and say out loud to all the class 'Hermione, sweet, I'm sorry for intimidating and scaring you. It wasn't your fault. Five hundred points to Gryffindor for having you on their team." Could he? Not at all! It was unthinkable what the reaction of the students would be. Probably some fainting, maybe some gasping, some dropped open mouths and angered complaints from Slytherin, but definitely cheerful but confused joy from Gryffindor.

"I doubt this potion has some side effects in this situation, but as a precaution, I want all of you go to the hospital wing this instant and ask Madame Pomfrey to check if there is really nothing wrong with you. " He ordered the class. They all obeyed and started exiting the classroom.

Hermione took more time to gather her things because of all the thoughts running through her brain. When she was about to leave she heard once again the silky voice she loved.

"Miss Granger, come here, please." He asked

She was covered with the green goo, after blowing up a potion in the class of the person she admired the most and now she was going to ear the most horrible things from him. She just wanted to cry of shame.

"Yes, Sir." She shyly obeyed waiting for the shouting to begin.

"Is everything alright with you, Miss Granger?" he asked in his silky voice with a soft tone she never heard before that made her fall even more in love with him. _'Am I dreaming? Is this some kind of joke? If it is, it is not funny! Did he just ask me if there was everything alright with me after I ruined the class?"_ She thought, but of course from her mouth came other words.

"Yes, Sir." She lied

"Are you sure? Is there anything you want to tell me? Do you want to talk about it?"

'_Oh my God! I'm going to die right here, right now! Can I blow up from love? Oh my, oh my… If there is anything I want to tell? Definitely… But can I? He is being so kind… He will probably get angry or something but I can't take it any longer. It's now or never, Hermione… Tell him or shut your mouth forever!'_

After that thought she took a big breath and answered "No, Sir, I'm not sure… In fact, yes, there is something I wa… I _need_ to tell you…"

TBC


	3. Not him, you

**A/N:** Hello! Sorry for keeping you waiting. I'm a bit sad for having very few reviews, but I loved the ones I got. =D Remember: read and review! xD

To answer Sam's review: yes, I am a Twilight fan although I read the books in Portuguese and two of them (I can't remember which xD) in English. But trust me, the translations are awful! Anyway, thanks for the review, I'm glad you liked it! Keep reading and review!

***Nad***

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to the brilliant mind of J. K. Rowling, not me (snif, snif).

* * *

_**Secretly**_

**CHAPTER 3**

Previously:

"No, Sir, I'm not sure… In fact, yes, there is something I _need_ to tell you…"

Now:

"Go on, then, Miss Granger." He calmly incited her, wanting to know what she had to tell.

"Sir, what happens is… Where should I begin? The beginning, I know. Well, it all started last year…"

"You're not going to tell me some girlish talk, are you?" he asked

"Do you want to hear it or not? If not I'm wasting my time!" This all thing was driving her insane and she was very sensitive to the minimum commentary.

He didn't know where that came from but he was so curious about her problem that he didn't care to play the horrific teacher with her in that moment so he just nodded for her to continue.

"My seventh year here in Hogwarts started as normal as it is expected, apart from the defeat of Voldemort. I had feelings for Ron for a long time and I discovered he felt the same way so we decided to give it a try." She started again

His blood was boiling just from the mention of the name. She had wasted her time and love on that idiot! He knew, of course he knew. It was most likely the worst part of his year. He wanted to tell her she shouldn't have done it but he decided against and instead he said with a bit of annoyance in his tone "I believe you said it all started two years ago and you're talking about this year…"

"I know what I said and I know what I'm saying. Let me continue, please. As I said, we decided to give it a try and something like a week later we ended it all because what we felt for each other was nothing more than brothers love. The problem is that my heart had after all been taken…" Hermione was so nervous that she was, in some way, hoping he would grow tired and would send her out. But that didn't happen, for her surprise. He just nodded and waited for her to continue.

"I never had realized that since my sixth year I developed feelings about a person that was out of my reach… A powerful man…"

"A boy, you mean. You're not trying to convince me that there is a student who you consider a man, aren't you. Because if you do, Miss Granger, I must apologize, but your definition of _man_ is definitely wrong." He said with a smug smirk, thinking that if that were the case, he could definitely be three times more man than any of those teenagers.

"No, Sir. Once again, I know what I'm saying. I developed feelings for a _man_ inside this school. It is not a student. And that same man is about to know what I've been feeling and feel about him and that is the reason for my nervousness." She said a bit annoyed for the previous interruption.

Snape was boiling inside. She did not only date that idiot Weasley, as she _had feelings_ for some other stupid inside the school. And to top that, he was an adult! When he discovered who it was he was going to kill the prat! Snape began to think the possibilities _'Dumbledore is out of question. Hagrid… Hmm… To big. Flitwick… Too short. Filch… Not even possible! This leaves us with… Lupin! I'm going to kill him!'_ When he finished his thoughts he was fuming. All he wanted to do was going to Lupin's office and strangle the werewolf with his hands. It was when Hermione spoke again.

"Sir?"

"Miss Granger, I know the fact of you having developed feelings about Professor Lupin is none of my business. Although, as another teacher of yours, I must ask you to be very careful and not show your feeling towards him, at least until your graduation. It could put both of your careers in risk, so do not tell him now, or do not tell him at all because…" but he stopped his speech when he looked to her face. She had her chin almost touching the floor of so open her mouth was and her eyes were almost popping out of their orbits from the surprise they were showing.

"You don't understand do you, Professor?" she asked with a soft tone, still a bit shocked about the ignorance of such a brilliant mind.

"Yes, Miss Granger, I think I do understand and that's exactly why I was trying to help you solve your _problem_ with Professor Lupin." He said calmly.

"Stop it!" she screamed "Stop assuming that is about Professor Lupin I was talking about! Can't you see? I was talking about you…" she calmed herself down before continuing "I had a crush on _you_ last year and this year that crush grew… Now… I'm total and unconditionally _in love_ _with you_, Professor Snape."

If his heart was weaker he would be, by now, on the ground, dead and buried. Was it possible? Was this real? Was the _woman_ of his dreams just saying that _she loved him_? Could that be possible? No… It must be a very realistic dream…

Hermione was waiting for the shouts to come and when they didn't she started to get nervous again. When she heard the voice she loved it was not with the words she wanted to hear.

"Miss Granger, I'm afraid I have to leave now. Please do go to the hospital wing to check if there is nothing wrong. Now, if you'll excuse me…" he stood and went to the door with big steps.

Hermione was glued to the floor. She had just confessed her love for him and all he said was for her to check if it was everything alright with her? He didn't even shouted how childish she was being or something. He said nothing. She went to the door and when she got there he was no longer on sight. She sadly marched to her bedroom regretting her actions. Life was unfair.

Meanwhile, Severus was near the Black Lake, sitting on the grass, thinking what he had done and what he needed to do.

'_Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! How could you be so stupid?! And you call yourself a man? The subject of your deepest desires confesses her love to you and you ran away like a scared puppy! Stupid!'_

He knew why he ran. He needed to catch some fresh hair. He was boiling inside when she said those beautiful words _'I'm total and unconditionally in love with you, Professor Snape.'_ He was boiling, not with anger but with happiness, love, desire. He was boiling of the immensity of the feelings he himself wanted to show her.

And now here he was. And she must hate him at that moment. Once again he ruined it. Or maybe not. It was not a lost cause. Now that he knew what she felt about him he needed to do something about it. He needed to talk to the Headmaster.

* * *

**A/N:** See that button down there? With the green words? Yeah, that! "Review this story/chapter" Click on it! ;P Hope you liked it! Have fun! Take care! =) ***Nad***


	4. Not heartless, strict

**A/N:** Hi! Thank you for the reviews, favorites, alerts, visits, hits... Everything! First of all I want you to know that I hadn't planned to write this chapter and I was finishing the next chapter when, after **BigReaderUK**'s review, I decided to write the meeting with Albus. It's not big but I think it gives us the general idea of Severus' feelings about Hermione. I'll stop writing now and leave you with the chapter.I hope you enjoy it and review please =D ***Nad***

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to the brilliant mind of J. K. Rowling (the green eyed monster atacks! lol xD)

* * *

_**Secretly**_

**CHAPTER 4**

Previously:

And now here he was. And she must hate him at that moment. Once again he ruined it. Or maybe not. It was not a lost cause. Now that he knew what she felt about him he needed to do something about it. He needed to talk to the Headmaster.

Now:

Snape was determined to do all in his reach to win, _for once in his life_, some happiness. _For once in his life_, he was fighting a battle for himself and without obeying to the orders of someone else. This was his battle and he intended to win, no matter what.

The potions teacher headed to Albus Dumbledore's office, said the password "Lemon lemonade" _'What a stupid password!'_ and waited as the gargoyle conceded his access.

He knocked on the door and waited for the office's owner to answer.

"Come in." the Headmaster said.

"Good afternoon, Albus." Severus greeted him.

"Good afternoon, Severus. Please sit. Do you want a lemon drop?" he asked but as the answer was negative he continued "What brings you here?" he inquired with his usual twinkling in his eyes.

"I came here to talk about Miss Granger." Said Severus, sitting in the chair in front of Albus' desk.

"Ah, Miss Granger! So intelligent! Anyway, I suppose you are not here to talk about her marks, since I haven't noticed anything wrong with them. She continues to have an outstanding performance in every class." Albus said.

"No, you're right. It is not about her marks." Severus started "I have noticed that lately Miss Granger has been a bit unfocused and today she even blew up a cauldron in my class."

"Is in the right of the human being to make mistakes, Severus."

"I know, I know. That's why I asked her if was everything alright with her at the end of the class."

"And…?"

"Firstly she said it was all fine but when I insisted…" he hesitated

"Continue…"

"She told me she was in love with me." Severus concluded with a sight

"And that bothers you because…?"

"That is the problem! It _doesn't bother me_! It makes me feel the happiest man in this damned Universe! I love her! That girl… woman, makes me feel that perhaps there is more out there than what I've seen and faced. She makes me believe that everything is possible! And with her confession, it only made me believe it even more! I love her! I love her! And I don't care what you or anyone else has to say about it! I will fight for this love! For once in my life I will serve no master! For once in my life I feel that maybe there's a chance for me to be happy with someone I love! And that person is Hermione. " When he paused he was almost hyperventilating but he was proud of his speech. He meant every word in it. And he had a finish note to add to it "Like it or not, if you do not support my decision, I will quit from my position as a teacher in this school and you will never put your eyes on me again."

Albus Dumbledore just remained silent, watching the man he met years ago - when he was just a boy - and that sacrificed his life since then to serve by his side. Albus cared for Severus as a father cares for his son. He knew that Severus had done many wrong decisions throughout his life, but he also knew he had regretted each and every one of them. After all, who could say that had never made a mistake? No one. So why complain?

"Why are you looking at me like that? Were you one of those who though that I was a heartless bastard?" he defied.

"Severus, my boy, I never thought such thing. Strict? Yes, I always knew you were; but heartless? Never. I was looking at you because I was admiring your persistence in the search for your own happiness. And only Merlin knows how proud and pleased that makes _me_ be" The Headmaster began.

"You see, I have seen you fight against all kinds of things, from torture to death, and they all made me suffer myself. But the battle you did that made me suffer the most was the one you have been making from two years ago until now. It is the battle you have been doing against _love_, my boy… Oh yes, I knew… I knew all along… But I couldn't do anything to help you. That was your own personal battle. I had hoped that this day would come when you finally gave up and admitted defeat.

"You knew?" Severus asked in a whisper "But how?"

"Let me just say that being the Headmaster has its advantages…" he answered with that familiar twinkle under his half moon glasses.

"You even knew about _her_?" he asked Albus with incredulity all over his face.

"Yes, Severus. I had noticed that Miss Granger had a special place for you in her heart. You know, every time anyone, and I mean _anyone_, was saying something rude about you she would defend you with everything she had. Maybe not so much lately because she knew her friends were getting suspicious… She only stopped defending you when she really wanted to change the subject, afraid of what Mr. Potter or Mr. Weasley could discover." Albus looked at Severus, who was trying to absorb all this information, and then concluded his speech

"About your resign to the position as a teacher I must ask you not to do it. It would be very hard to find a Potions Master like yourself, as you know." Severus looked at the old man in front of him. He could read in his eyes that he was asking for him stay not because of his talent in Potions, but truth be told, Albus didn't want him to go away. And Severus didn't want to go either, but if Albus refused him his happiness he would go with his plan until the end.

"I only have one more question, Albus. Do you support me, Hermione, _us_?" he asked in a serious but calm tone, like a son would do to a father.

"In every way possible. If you want to keep it a secret, I will support you. If you want to tell the entire school, I will support you. If you want to travel around the world, spreading the new, I'll support you, also, but if that is the case, please do it when you don't have classes to teach." He finished with a smile and, once again, with that twinkle that everybody loved.

Severus was at a loss of words. The only words he was able to say were "Thank you, Albus."

Severus left the Headmaster's office and went to his own, waiting for the day to pass, anxious for the hour when the young woman would appear knocking at his door.


	5. Not detention, detail

**A/N:** Hello! Thanks for all the reviews, you guys rock! :D I just want to apologize for any grammar mistakes because I know my grammar sucks but there isn't much more I can do... I'm Portuguese... I can't talk English here... But it is handy to curse because a lot of people don't understand xD No more talking... Chapter 5!

**Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to J. K. Rowling, not me. (grrr... watch it! I'll bite! xD)

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Secretly

**CHAPTER 5**

Previously:

Severus left the Headmaster's office and went to his own, waiting for the day to pass, anxious for the hour when the young woman would appear knocking at his door.

Now:

When he left the room Hermione just stood there, watching him leave after she confessed her deepest feelings about him. _'What was I expecting? For him to take me in his arms and say that he loved me too? Merlin! How could I be so stupid to the point of thinking that this was a good idea?! Now how will I be able to look at him after this? He must have gone to tell the headmaster and find a way to expel me of his class for disrespecting authority or something.'_ Her thoughts were driving her crazy. Somehow, she stopped her own emotions and the will to cry taking a deep breath and then headed to the hospital wing obeying to _Professor Snape_.

After confirming everything was fine with her, she went to the Gryffindor tower to get her books for the next class.

When she got there she entered the girl's dormitory and found it empty. She retrieved the _History of Magic 7_ and was about to exit the room when she heard a _toc toc_ that made her stop. She looked around and she found a big raven, with a letter on his beak, knocking on the window, trying to get in. She opened the window and retrieved the letter with her name on it. In a blink of an eye the raven was no longer there.

She instantly recognized the elegant handwriting as to belonging to one mean _'Professor Snape!' _her mind screamed. Her heart skipped a beat. She opened the letter and started to read:

_Miss Granger,_

_This letter serves as a reminder that you have to meet me tonight, at 8pm, in order to serve detention due to the incident in my class. _

_Professor Severus Snape_

'_I've almost forgotten! Damn! How could this get worst?'_

She finally exited the room and found Harry and Ron sitting in the common room.

"There you are! We didn't see you at the hospital wing and as you stayed behind to talk with the bat we went to the great hall to play a bit of chess, and as you didn't show after a while we went to check if you were at the library. You didn't and then we came here." Ron explained

"Uh… Sorry about that. Professor Snape wanted to remind me about detention and then I went to the hospital wing but there was no one else there already."

"That's alright. It's almost time for History of Magic. We'd better go now." Harry proposed

They went to class but Hermione couldn't take her mind out of the Potions Professor. _'He will probably give me a lecture about my behavior and how I was not supposed to told him what I did and how improper that was. Merlin, I hate him!'_ she concluded, but in second thought her mind added _'…No, you don't!'_

The rest of the day passed in a flash and without her noticing, it was 7.50pm and she needed to start her path to the dungeons in order to get there on time.

She was dreading the moment, but she could do nothing about it so she raised her hand to knock on the door. As her hand was about to touch the hard wood, the door suddenly broke open allowing her to enter. She entered the dark room to found it empty.

"Professor Snape? May I come in?" she asked in a whisper that echoed in the room.

"I think that is what you have just done. Good evening, Miss Granger." The voice said from across the room, his owner slightly hidden in the shadows, part of his face lighted by the moonlight, giving him a dark-angel-like look that made Hermione almost start hyperventilating.

"G-good evening, Professor." Her mouth was so dry and she was so nervous that she was having difficulties talking

He was watching her reaction, trying to decipher her looks and actions "Come here, Miss Granger. I think there is a certain _detail_ we need to discuss and I believe my office will provide us a more suitable place." He said while indicating his office door, stretching an arm to do so.

Hermione swallowed hard and then failed to use her voice to answer him, so she nodded with her head. She did as he said and entered the warmer and smaller room followed closely by him, who closed the door and put a silencing and locking charm on it.

"Please sit, Miss Granger." He said pointing at a chair in front of his desk and walking to the back of his own chair in the other side of the table, although he didn't sit. He just stood there, with his hands in the back of the chair.

Once again she obeyed and waited for the storm to come.

"Miss Granger, I believe you know what _detail_ we must discuss…" he started with a low voice

"Yes, I do, Sir and I want to apologize about it. I was childish and I wasn't thinking correctly. I think maybe I have been stressed about all the classes and I…" She didn't know what to say because she knew that saying that she had misjudged her feelings was a terrible lie and she knew that lying to Snape was not a clever move.

"Calm down… What do you want to apologize about?"

She didn't know the answer. Yet. _'Do I want to apologize for telling him what I feel? No. I am not the one who ran away. I confronted my feelings.' _

Instead of calming down, she exploded "Nothing. Nothing! I don't want to apologize! I humiliated myself to tell how I felt and I'm not sorry for doing it! If you don't want people to love you, that's your problem, not mine. All I know is that I love you, I confessed my feelings and I'm not sorry for it! If you don't like it I don't care!" she said, her face red from anger and embarrassment at the same time. Now she was certain _'If I was not going to be expelled before, now I certainly am. What were you thinking, you dumb!?'_

Now she had done it well… Now the Golden Trio Girl, know-it-all Gryffindor, diligent student, Hermione Granger, was going to be expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for confessing her love for Professor Severus Snape, former Death eater, double spy for the Order of the Phoenix, Potions master and the most hated teacher in the school.

Snape just stared at her as she exploded, and waited for her to breathe. After what looked like hours he finally spoke.

"I talked to the Headmaster…" he started

'_There you have it.'_ She thought

"I decided it would be wrong if I didn't…"

'_Of course! You couldn't lose a chance to made the Headmaster expel a student...'_

"I told him every word you said after that class…"

'_Merlin, help me!'_

"And after that I told him what I thought about it…"

"And what was that?" she asked in a harsh tone trying to hide her fear, while he started to walk slowly around the table to stand behind her chair. She was frightened and she didn't look at him. _'If I'm going to be expelled I don't need to worry about politeness.'_ She thought and then asked in the same tone "Did you convince the headmaster how such behavior deserved expulsion? Did you told him how the school and you would benefit from it? How your headaches would stop if the know-it-all wasn't around? Did you tell him how it would be goo to have one mudblood less?"

"No." was the answer that came from his mouth as he approached her chair and placed his hands gently on her shoulders, sending shivers down her spine and making her open more her eyes in surprise to close them then, savoring the soft and warm touch that his strong hands were giving her. _'Get a grip, girl!'_ she thought

"What I told him was not what you think I said. Not even close to that…" he continued, moving his hands softly and slowly to her neck, caressing it with his fingers and then moving them back to her shoulders. Hermione didn't know why he was doing that but she didn't want him to stop.

"You see, a long time ago I met a person who was nothing more than that to me: another boring, useless, ignorant, uninteresting person. Just that. As time passed, that person changed, and my feelings changed as well…" he continued his movements, feeling her responses and a soft, almost inaudible moan that she let escape.

Hermione was at a loss of words. _'Why is he doing this, knowing how I feel about him? He must be experimenting a new kind of torture where the torturer takes the tortured one to madness by leaving them in a state of total desire and lust. This is crazy! Oh my God, his hands! Hmmm…'_

"About two years ago I developed deeper feelings concerning that one person but found myself between the sword and the wall because I knew that that person was and _is_ like a _forbidden fruit_ to me…" he whispered those two words next to her ear and that made her jump in surprise and tremble all over her body.

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**A/N:** I know, I know... I'm bad... But the next chapter will be out soon. ;) Review, please =D


	6. Not wanted, loved

**A/N: **Hi! **I'm terribly sorry** for the delay but I tried several times and I couldn't upload this chapter. I don't know why. Even a friend of mine tried from her computer (thanks a lot, **Sash** ) but nothing. I was starting to get desperate! But, here it is. Finally! Enjoy! And review please xD

**Disclaimer:** The characters belong to… hmmm… oh! J. K. Rowling, that's it! XD

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_**Secretly**_

**CHAPTER 6**

Previously:

"About two years ago I developed deeper feelings concerning that one person but found myself between the sword and the wall because I knew that that person was and _is_ like a _forbidden fruit_ to me…" he whispered those two words next to her ear and that made her jump in surprise and tremble all over her body.

Now:

He quickly changed his tone, but didn't stop his hands as he continued to talk. "Have you ever heard the expression 'The forbidden fruit is the most coveted', Miss Granger?

She fought the best she could to maintain her normal voice "Yes, Sir."

"And do you know what it means?"

"It means that something seems more attractive for not being allowed." She quietly answered

"You're right as always, Miss Granger. "

The words coming out of his mouth like the water flowing in a clear river, his silky voice caressing each word…

'_If I were a cat, I would be purring out loud…'_ she thought, bewitched with his words and actions.

Hermione was so absorbed that she almost forgot that she was angry with him. She took a deep breath and then, gathering all of her willpower she asked "And what does that _expression _has to do with me?"

"_Hermione…_" he approached her ear, letting his lips touch it softly as he said the name that felt so good on his lips.

Hermione jumped at the sound of her given name but said nothing to stop it. It felt good… It felt… right, coming out of those, she supposed, soft lips, with that addictive voice.

"_You are my forbidden fruit…"_ he said to her ear. Then, he inhaled her soft scent and, like it had served as a stimulant, he touched the place right under her earlobe with his lips, placing a soft and gentle kiss.

Hermione almost fainted. He had kissed her… Then she associated the pieces of the puzzle _'He developed feelings for someone he knew but didn't like before, but in some way that person was forbidden. He knows me for seven years and he never liked me, and I'm his student, therefore he can't be with me. So…'_ and realization came _' He wants me! Oh my God!'_

Although she was almost sure of her assumption she wanted to hear him say it.

Almost like he had read her thoughts, he moved to her front and, taking her hands in his, he looked at her deep, brown eyes and said, with the most confidence he had ever had in his life:

"I love you, Hermione. I've had for two years now and I was going crazy about this. I am so sorry about all the things I made you go through all of these years. Sorry for running away from you. Could you ever forgive me?"

'_He doesn't only want me, he _loves_ me!' Hermione_ looked to those obsidian eyes and then for their hands, then for the eyes, and again for the hands. She finally locked her look with his and, allowing her own happiness to come to the surface, she smiled and then answered "Of course, Severus!"

Severus couldn't control himself no more. He pulled Hermione out of the chair and into his arms and placed a gentle and longing kiss to which she responded immediately, placing her arms around his neck as he placed his around her waist in an embrace they would never want to end.

"I don't know how I bore so much time without you." He told her

But suddenly she froze and pulled away from the kiss but not from his arms.

"Oh no! What are we going to do Severus? You are a teacher and I am your student, and although I'm off age in both muggle and magical world, people don't take this kind of relationship very well… You're going to be fired and I will probably be expelled! I'm still _forbidden_…" she started to get nervous and without knowing what to do.

Severus just laughed. Really laughed. She had never heard him laugh and she thought it was the most delightful sound she had ever heard, next to the words _I love you_ coming out of the same person's mouth.

"What are you laughing at? It is not funny! I'm serious Severus! Stop laughing! This is not a joke!"

Regaining a bit of his composure he explained "Hermione, what do you think I talked with Albus about? I told how I felt about you after telling him what you said. I told him I could never leave one more day without you my life and said that if he was going to argue about it, I would quit my job."

"You really said that?"

"Yes, but Albus knew about both mine and your feelings and he was just waiting until one of us break."

"Oh my God! He knew! But how? It doesn't matter! Does he approve our relationship?" she asked, a bit nervous to hear the answer.

"Yes. I asked him if he supported me and his answer was, quote, '_In every way possible.' _He said that if we wanted to turn it public we were free to do so."

Severus stated with a big smile

"Do you want to? I mean… I know you are a very reserved person and don't like to have your life in everybody's mouth so I understand if you don't want to."

"Hermione, I do. I can't stand one more day without being able to hold you freely in my arms, without concerning of your or anyone else's reaction. Now that I know you love me, I want to show the world I am the luckiest man on the Universe for having you."

Hermione was speechless so she just kissed him to show him how happy and glad she was. Their kiss lasted for what looked like hours, but was in fact a few minutes.

This time it was Severus who pulled away.

"Meet me at the entrance of the Great Hall tomorrow at 7.40am." he said

"Ok. I'll be there."

"Now, _Miss Granger_, I believe your detention is over. Please do not repeat the same mistake so I can avoid having your company again." He returned to his usual Potions Master tone but his eyes were smiling.

"Yes, _Professor_. Goodnight." She answered, leaning to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Goodnight my angel. I'll see you tomorrow. " He said, taking his arms from around her waist and watching as she left.

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**A/N: **Hehehe! One more chapter to go!


	7. Not evil, love

**A/N:** Guess what?? Final chapter!! I want to thank everybody for reading the story and also to the ones who give me one or two minutes more of their atention to write the reviews. Thank you all so much! I hope you like how this will end and share your opinion. Enjoy! Lov'u all! Take care!!! =D ***Nad***

**Disclaimer:** What you recognize belongs to J. K. Rowling. Lucky woman! =)

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_**Secretly**_

**CHAPTER 7**

Previously:

"Goodnight my angel. I'll see you tomorrow. " He said, taking his arms from around her waist and watching as she left.

Now:

It was the best night of sleep Hermione had in weeks. She had confessed her love for Severus, he had confessed he felt exactly the same way and to top that, the Headmaster supported a possible relationship between them. And now it was the big day. Today they were going to show everybody how they felt for each other. She couldn't be more excited about it and the waiting for the right hour was a torture. When it was 7.35am she headed for the Great Hall.

Severus couldn't be happier. He found out that the gir… _woman_ he loved had the same feelings about him and she had agreed in telling everybody, including her friends, that they were now a couple who shared a deep love. And this was the time. He got up, showered, dressed and waited for the right time to go to the entrance of the Great Hall wait for _his_ love.

When Hermione arrived at the meeting point, Severus was already there, smiling widely at her.

"Good morning, _Miss Granger_." He said with his Professor pose, but in a playful tone.

"Good morning, _Professor_." She answered trying to hide the smile on her face.

"At this time, the Great Hall is full. Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, concerned that she could regret it

"I've never been so sure in my life." She answered

He placed his arm on her shoulders in a protective way and she place hers on his back. They took a big breath and Severus opened the door.

They stepped inside as if it was the most normal thing to do as all the eyes turned to them and a couple of forks fell to the ground.

"Do you want to make a bet? I bet someone will faint or scream." She whispered with a soft smile.

Severus wasn't able to control himself and gave a big and true laugh as the image of some student fainting crossed his mind. Hermione couldn't do it herself and they started to laugh freely.

It was now. The Hall was silent. They slowly walked to the Gryffindor table, giving time for everyone to see what was going on. Hermione spotted the confused and angry looks on her friend's faces but she decided not to look at them because she knew if she did she would lose all her courage.

When they reached the place where Ron, Harry and Ginny were sitting, they turned to each other and, after looking deep into the other's eyes they closed their distance as Severus leaned down to place a soft and longing kiss on Hermione's lips.

They heard a thump. Then another. And then a scream. He smiled at her and whispered in her ear "Luck I didn't bet…" before turning to go to the teacher's table.

No one said a word. Hermione sat down beside Ginny and started to fill her plate with breakfast as everyone continued to stare at her.

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Ron screamed

"What? What did I miss?" Hermione pretended she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Y-y-you kissed _Snape_! That's what!"

"And your point is…?"

"It's SNAPE! He is the greasy bat of the dungeons. He is a death eater. He is evil. He is… SNAPE!"

"Ronald Weasley!" she started with the intention of making herself clear, not only for Ron but for everyone "That man, Professor Severus Snape, is NOT a greasy bat, is NOT a death eater and is NOT evil. He is intelligent, confident, kind, fair and…" she made a pause for greater impact "…he is the man that I LOVE!"

The hall was deadly quiet. Ron was preparing to start screaming at Hermione when a big, strong hand clutched his left shoulder and he heard a rigid voice behind him and saw Hermione's smile. He turned and looked at a very serious Professor.

"Is everything alright Hermione?" Professor Snape asked

"Yes, Severus. Thank you." She gave him a reassuring smile.

"I believe you. However, I must warn you, Mr. Weasley, if you ever talk to Hermione in that tone again, or put a single finger on her, you'll have to deal with me."

"Is that a threat?" Ron dared

"No, Mr. Weasley. It is a warning. Normally, I don't waste time threatening. I act. So, consider it a privilege for being one of Hermione's friends." Severus said in a dangerous whisper.

Ron paled so much that, if he was floating he would be confused with the substitute for Nearly-Headless Nick, apart from the _nearly headless _thing. He swallowed hard and was able to find a simple answer "Yes, Sir." He sat down and waited for Snape to go away back to the teacher's table before he spoke again.

"So, this is it? You chose him instead of us?"

"No." she simply answered

"Then?" he continued

"Ron, the only choice I made was to tell Severus about my feelings. I'm still here with you, as always. The only difference is that now, I'm in a relationship." She finished

"Relationship? But he's Snape! How can you, _like_ him?" he started again but Harry cut him "Ron! Stop it! Snape is not my favorite teacher either but if this is what Hermione wants then we should support her, and that includes you."

"Harry is right." Ginny said to Ron and then turned for her "If is he that you want to be with, you have my support."

"And mine too." Harry concluded.

"Thank you so much, guys. That means the world to me." Hermione said with watery eyes and a soft smile.

"Er… Ok… I'm sorry Hermione. Forget what I said. You have my support as well. Just promise me something. If he ever hurts you in any way, you tell me and I'll snatch his head out." Ron finally gave up

Hermione was so happy for having her friends' support that she thought it was a dream of which she didn't want to wake up from. She looked at the teacher's table and saw that Severus was being congratulated for all the staff. Unbelievably, he didn't hide his proud and happiness and received every handshake, hug or kiss they offered. He then excused himself and walked to Gryffindor's table.

" Are you ready to leave, Hermione?"

"Yes. I'll see you in class, guys."

The Great Hall observed the couple leave hand in hand, trading loving glances to each other and disappear from their sight.

"I believe the Potions class will be much more pleasant this year…" Albus said more to himself than for the rest of the staff

*(^_^)*

As Severus left with Hermione, a question emerged on his mind.

"Hermione, before you told me about your feelings, did you ever think it possible for me to feel the same about you?" he asked never stopping their walk.

"_Secretly_, I did…"

After a minute of silence Hermione spoke once again.

"I love you, Severus."

"I love you too, my angel."

They stopped walking and looked at each other before closing the space between them in a loving and longing kiss, feeling like nothing in this doomed world could break them apart.

_The End_


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